Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
