So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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