walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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