On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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