Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
