"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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