was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
