She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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