yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I just googled if crying burns calories
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
