dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
