Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
