He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
