That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
