as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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