I faked an abortion last night.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just high enough for therapy.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
