Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
