before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
