Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
