so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
In other news, I just burned my penis
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
