1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
