ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
