All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
