drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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