I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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