I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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