He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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