Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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