can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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