Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
