I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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