If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I can't turn off my feet"
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
