Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
