He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He better not be in your backpack
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
tell me about the eggs
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
