Soap is not a condiment
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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