She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
