hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
