I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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