remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
