Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
