whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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