I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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