did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
