this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
