no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
