Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
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