I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
