he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
