They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
