I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
