whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
